A woman has desperately sought for help after narrating how her husband’s bestfriend lured her into having s*x with him and now she now feels so guilty.

A wife has cried out for help after admitting that guilt is about to kill her. The woman who cheated on the husband by having s*x with the husband’s best-friend feels bitter and guilty. Read her story below: 
**************************************** 
My husband and I have been married for 2 years and have been together for five. I’m 25 and he is 27 and I love him very, very much. We generally don’t argue often and if we do we resolve it very quickly and things return to normal. I became pregnant and we were both so excited. In hindsight it was a bad decision, but we told our families and friends of the news. One night, I woke up with very painful cramps and vomiting and we went to the hospital. It was then that they told us that we had lost the baby. 
After that, I don’t really remember anything, I just felt numb. Ben was so supportive, despite the fact I knew he was devastated. But recently he has been on edge with me all the time, he is constantly angry, and shouting to be left alone. I have tried with him but it is really hard and he keeps pushing me away. Whenever friends or family come over he’s back to himself again and as soon as they leave he can’t even stand to be around me. He told me when he sees me, he’s reminded of what happened and he can’t get over it. When he’s not angry he barely talks and whenever I try to have s*x or even kiss him he says that he is not ready. The miscarriage devastated me and I still think about it all the time but any time I try and get comfort from him or to comfort him he just pushes me away. I don’t know what to to, I feel like he blames me and I am all alone. I tried to suggest counseling but he just got into another argument. 

                        
In desperation, I turned to his best friend, Thulani, and asked him to talk to my husband. I wasn’t looking for any kind of relationship, I just needed someone who knows us and understands. He was kind of wary about it initially but we met up for coffee. It was so great to talk to someone, it was the first time I smiled in so long. We walked for a while and went back to his place because it started raining very badly. It was so stupid but we ended up drinking a bit (a lot in fact) and I started crying about everything and he hugged me. One thing led to another and we had s*x. 
The next morning Thulani woke me up and apologized for everything and we both agreed I should leave. I came home to find my husband passed out on the couch. When he woke up I told him that I stayed out with a friend and crashed at hers. 
I obviously do not underestimate the consequences of what I did and it was the worst kind of betrayal. It was selfish and stupid and I know there is no excuse. but it was. The first time I felt normal, without thinking about the miscarriage. It will hurt him so bad and I can’t believe how stupid I was. I don’t think that telling him will make things better. It is already so hard at home but I can’t lie about something like this. I love him so much, I cant bear to hurt him. 
Please can anyone help? I don’t know what to do?